Little Grey's Anatomy
by caprijoy
Summary: It's been a hostile environment for Mark and Lexie and so far, they haven't been able to conquer the obstacles that led them to their final breaking point. But what if they can get back to the beginning? What if they can learn to adapt? *AU After 8x4 M/L
1. Chapter 1

Mark and Lexie time. Takes place after the episode in which Jackson sends Lexie away when his mom visits. How I hope this season will (eventually) turn out!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing; go on, rub it in.**

_Little_ Grey's Anatomy

Jackson Avery was any woman's vision of the perfect man. Lexie wasn't a fool; she had seen the looks of jealousy and envy, the death stares and the glared daggers, when she walked into a restaurant or bar with him on her arm. She had heard the muffled words of awe as she passed a group of women, huddled together at a table. She knew she was lucky to have such a man at her beck and call. Jackson was intelligent, he was funny, he was gorgeous; Jackson was perfect. So why did she feel this way all the time?

In the middle of the Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital cafeteria, Lexie Grey sat with her elbows on the table and her head in her hands. Jackson and April sat across from her, discussing Jackson's mom's surgery and all the ways they took part in it.

He hadn't even wanted her to meet his mother, what did that say about her? She knew she was emotionally stunted, she had daddy issues, she had sister issues, she had unresolved romantic issues with her own boyfriend's mentor, but did that mean she was completely and utterly incapable of any and every normal human interaction? Was Jackson embarrassed of her? Could she blame him if he was?

Lexie sighed aloud, why did everything have to be so hard? After a two day trip to Molly's home, and spending every waking second with her brother-in-law, her niece, and her (yet-again) pregnant baby sister, Lexie was starting to wonder if she was doing this whole thing right, if she was living the way she was supposed to.

She felt a strong hand on her forearm, "You okay, Lex?"

She opened her eyes and stared into the baby blues of the man she was supposed to be falling in love with. She offered a false and tired smile before pushing out her chair and intentionally but subtly moving his hand off and away from her skin, "I think I just need some air."

"Want me to come with?" Jackson asked, also beginning to stand up.

She tried to be overcome with gratitude or affection or any emotion at all, she tried to be overcome with something that would make her feel like this relationship was more than it actually was, but she was tired of pretending. So, instead she simply shook her head and said, "I think I just need to be alone."

He sat back down with a timid expression upon his face and watched her as she walked towards the stair well.

"She's mad, isn't she?" He asked April rhetorically.

"Yeah, I'd be mad too if I missed out on a groundbreaking surgery because my boyfriend had mommy issues," April scoffed, placing a forkful of salad into her mouth.

* * *

><p>Lexie sat on a lawn chair, strategically placed to overlook the city, on the roof of the hospital. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Her scrubs were light and she began to feel the numbing cold pierce her skin. She wasn't concerned, it didn't bother her like it should of; nothing bothered her like it should of anymore.<p>

She rubbed a plastic lighter between the fingers of her right hand, a rolled paper between the fingers of her left. Why was she feeling like this? Why was she so unsure of herself these days?

She heard the door behind her open and the drop in her stomach made her instantly aware of his presence. He sat down, in the lawn chair beside her, laying his feet out in front of him. She couldn't help the small smile that spread across her lips at his first words, "Party on the rooftop?"

She shook her head, avoiding his eyes, "Not exactly."

He nodded in her peripherals and laid his head on the top of his chair, "When did you start smoking?" He asked in reference to the lighter and cigarette in her hand, no judgment in his tone.

"I haven't yet," She spoke honestly, "I just, I just figured I was in need of a new bad habit."

He chuckled. It was ironic, funny even; the possibility of lying had never even crossed her mind. He asked a question, she had an answer. It was easy with him.

"Ouch," he chuckled again. "You cut me deep, little Grey."

Butterflies swarmed her stomach at the mention of her old nickname; she tried to play it off smoothly, "I'm not little Grey, you know. Not anymore."

He smiled, "You'll always be little Grey, to me."

She turned to face him, the question left her blunt lips before she had a chance to weigh the pros and cons of asking it, "Would you have introduced me to your mother?"

If Mark was surprised or even remotely hurt by the question, he didn't show it. It only took him half of a second to reply, "You have met my mother."

Lexie nodded, this was true. But while Mrs. Shepard was a mother to him in all ways but one, she couldn't keep herself from prodding further, "I know, I mean your biological mother."

Again, it took less than half a second for him to reply, "Oh, God no."

Lexie couldn't help but laugh a little at the quickness of his reply, but as the humor passed, her insecurities once again got the better of her. "Why? Why does no man dare let me meet his mother? Is there something that apparently wrong with me? Do they think I'll embarrass them? Did you think I'd embarrass you?"

Mark gave her his signature smirk and simply stated, "You're cute. Insane, but cute."

Lexie gave him a noise that was somewhere between a grunt and a whine, "So it's because I'm insane? Are we really back to that?"

Mark placed his hand on her knee, when she met his eyes, the smirk was gone, the sincerity of his expression matched that of his following words, "Lexie, not once, ever in my life, have I ever thought that you were even remotely insane. You may have had you little moments of—Lexie, but I've never thought you were crazy.

"The reason I would never, ever, in a million years ever let you meet my biological mother is because **she** is insane. She never loved me, Lex. My mother never loved me enough to care about my well being, much less my relationships. My mother is vindictive and heartless and cares about nothing but her self. I would never want to subject you to that, to introduce you to a woman, a human so cruel. You're too good of a person, Lex. Too good of a person for her and for me."

Silence followed his words. Lexie slowly melted back into her seat, after all this time she could still feel his love. He could still make her feel. And that's all she needed, for months that's all she's needed: to feel. She debated asking the question lingering in her head. In the end, her curiosity and insecurities got the best of her, "But what about—"

"Avery is an idiot." He stated simply, "His mother loves him, so he thinks that she'll hate you. He's trying to put it off as long as possible. He doesn't understand how much mothers love you. He doesn't get it."

"Get what?" Lexie asked softly, moving slightly off her lawn chair, closer to him, closer to his warmth.

Mark moved forward as well, their scrub-clad knees touched, neither moved to break the contact. As he spoke, his breath brushed his her face, his words lingering on her lips, "That you're perfect."

He leaned forward, their foreheads almost pressed against one another; he brushed a few fly-away strands of brunette hair away from her eyes. His eyes flickered to her hands, which were still clenching the cigarette and lighter.

He smirked, "You gonna light that?"

Lexie bit her lip and couldn't resist the urge to smile, she couldn't resist his temptation anymore, "Bad habits _do_ die hard."

And with that she leaned in closer and brushed her lips against his.


	2. Chapter 2

_Little _Grey's Anatomy

In her life, Alexandra Grey had been many things in her life, but adulterous had never been one of them. Through all the hard-headedness and the giving-in, all the intelligence and the idiocy, through all the kindness and the hatred, not once in her 26 years had she been unfaithful. Not once until today, that was.

_He leaned forward, their foreheads almost pressed against one another; he brushed a few fly-away strands of brunette hair away from her eyes. His eyes flickered to her hands, which were still clenching the cigarette and lighter._

_He smirked, "You gonna light that?"_

_Lexie bit her lip and couldn't resist the urge to smile, she couldn't resist his temptation anymore, "Bad habits __do__ die hard."_

_And with that she leaned in closer and brushed her lips against his._

_ It was slow at first, like two friends being reacquainted. She could feel him holding back, like he was afraid if he responded, she would fully register the situation at hand and he would once again scare her off. He didn't know this side of her, the new side of Lexie Grey that cheated on her boyfriend with the man she loved. He didn't know the Lexie Grey that didn't care about the rules, that didn't know what she wanted. The Lexie Grey that hadn't felt anything but apathy for months, until the moment his lips touched hers._

_It wasn't until she pressed her mouth firmly against his, placing her hand at the back of his neck and pulling him into her, that she felt the resolve fall from his previously stoic lips. He kissed her back with a force that was all too familiar. She smiled into his lips, _God,_ how she missed this. How she missed him._

_She pushed him further back into his seat with her body weight, as she left her chair completely and straddled his lap, her knees pressed into the sides of his thighs. Both of her hands were at the back of his head, the cigarette and lighter now discarded onto the stone floor of the rooftop. Mark placed one hand securely on her waist to steady her as the other hand made its way into the brown locks he had for so long wished to run his hands through._

If the blaring of his pager hadn't cut through the silence and brought them back to reality, Lexie wasn't sure how far she would've continued to go.

Well, of course, _she knew_, but how long Mark would let her go, was another question entirely.

He hadn't pushed her to do anything she didn't want him to do. Hell, he hadn't pushed her at all, at least consciously. The factors that led their lips to meet and the slight escalation of events that briefly proceeded after the fact had all been because of the things he couldn't help, the things that were so—so indistinguishing _Mark Sloan._ And she couldn't hate him for being himself; she couldn't even blame him. Only she truly knew the power he held over her, and she allowed herself to be placed in that situation.

After his pager went off, she sprang back, off his lap, so fast that she would have fallen backwards if he hadn't kept her steady with his hand firmly on her hip. She smiled sheepishly, expecting to see the Sloan smirk on his face when she finally looked at him, but all she saw was his eyes full of concern. He knew. He knew more than her boyfriend, than her sisters, than her friends, maybe even more than she did. He knew she was lost.

He brushed the hair out of her face once again and kissed her forehead, lingering a bit longer than necessary, before walking towards the door of the roof that led to the stairwell.

That had been six hours ago, and since then, Lexie hadn't caught even a glimpse of the plastics attending. Sending her boyfriend home an hour ago, with a promise to text him later in the night and no other words to suggest her infidelity, she was now holding her niece as Meredith and Derek spoke words of comfort to their child over the phone.

"We love you, little one." Meredith said, her quiet voice conveying the pain of not being able to see her baby.

"Goodnight, Zola." Derek spoke, his desperation also evident in his tone.

Lexie took the couple off speaker and pressed the phone to her ear, Zola clinging tightly to her aunt.

"I'll call you guys if anything comes up, I promise." Lexie said, nuzzling the tired baby in her arms.

Her, Cristina, Alex, Robbins, and Sloan had agreed to take turns watching the recovering child while the adoption was still pending. It wasn't fair, two people so deserving of parenthood, weren't allowed to even see and comfort their child because of a single mistake. Biological parents got more leeway than that. It just—it didn't make sense. Why was life so unfair to those who least deserve it?

She hung up the phone and sat in the cushioned chair in Zola's room, humming softly as Zola closed her little eyes and laid her head on Lexie's chest.

The door opened slowly, as Mark walked inside, trying to make as little noise as possible. Lexie felt a wave of relief wash over her as he gave her a sideways smile.

"How is she?" He asked, stepping cautiously closer to the crib that usually housed the currently sleeping child.

Lexie gave him a tired, but sincere, smile. The concern in his voice made her stomach flutter, "She's stable, tired, but stable. It's them I'm more concerned about."

Mark nodded, knowing she was referencing her sister and his best friend, "They'll be fine, they'll get through this. They always do." He walked closer to the girl cuddled in Lexie's arms, "They just want to hold their baby girl. I know I'd be going crazy if I were Derek."

She thought it would hurt, when he finally mentioned his child, the child that led them to their final breaking point. She thought it would sting or make her remember why they didn't work, but nothing came, nothing but understanding. Holding Zola in her arms, feeling her heartbeat and the steady rise and fall of her chest as she took deep, sleepy breaths; she couldn't feel anything but the understanding of a parent.

Lexie stood up slowly, brushing her shoulder lightly against Mark's chest as she walked towards the crib and set Zola inside. The baby squirmed a bit, but settled down after a few seconds and fell back into a peaceful slumber. Lexie kept her hands on the edge of the crib and her eyes directly on her niece, as though if she merely glanced away the, child would be gone. This baby's life didn't deserve to be so hard.

"We should talk," she stated, still watching Zola carefully.

"I know," Mark said simply, taking a seat where Lexie previously sat with Zola.

Lexie tore her eyes away from the crib and pressed her back against the wooden bars, trying to keep a safe distance between her and the plastics attending.

"I have," she paused, she never really planned what she was going to say to him. It wasn't easy, she knew, whenever she was in front of him, her plans usually faltered. "I have, well, sort of have a plan."

"A plan?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow, the signature smirk appearing across his lips.

She blushed, "A plan, for us."

"A plan for us?" Mark repeated.

Lexie rolled her eyes and took a few steps closer, "Stop being an ass, I'm saying we should—we should be friends."

Mark's smirk grew, his eyebrow raising higher, "Friends?"

"Yes, friends." Lexie confirmed.

She had now walked close enough for him to grab her hand. She didn't object, nor did she pull away, as he laced his fingers with hers. Though it was counter-productive, there was something empowering about holding his hand in hers.

"We've never been 'just friends' before," Mark mused, tugging her arm softly. She rolled her eyes again and placed herself in his lap, her legs hanging off the side of the chair, her head tucked under his.

"That's exactly why I'm suggesting it." She spoke softly.

"Friends," he let the word hang in the air, "like beneficial friends?"

Lexie swatted his chest, as though the thought had never crossed her mind. Though it was the only thing she had thought about for the past six hours. "No, like friends-friends."

She felt the slight rumble in his chest as he let out a chuckle, "I'm not sure if friends hold hands and sit so closely, little Grey."

Lexie smiled, her cheek still pressed against his chest, "My friends do."

He laughed again, but the laughter soon faded and silence rang throughout the room. The comfort and content of the scenario would have been unsettling, if Lexie had over-analyzed it like she usually did. Here she was, laying in Mark's arms, as a baby girl slept silently in the crib beside them. This was the way it would've been, the way it should've been all along.

"I don't want to hurt either of you," Lexie spoke, moving her head to look straight into his eyes. He knew, without question, that she was referencing her boyfriend. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore. And the only time I feel any sense of stability, of sanity is when I'm with you. But—I can't jump into this right away, I'm not sure if we're supposed to be together, but I can't see a world, a life for me without you in it. So, I'm saying we keep it simple. Friends."

Silence followed her words, she didn't want him to think too much about it, after all, it was in no way fair to him; to keep him dangling by a thread while she figured out what she wanted, what she needed. The words left her lips in a quiet hum, "So what do you say?"

He rubbed his thumb softly over the back of her hand, his hesitation terrified her, but when he spoke, he spoke in such a deliberate, no-nonsense way that eased her worries, "Lex, you know I'd do anything to be in your life. If you want to be friends, I'll be your friend. I'll be anything you need me to be."

Tears welled in her eyes as he kissed the back of her hand, "Do friends say that?" He asked, with a timid smile.

She knew she shouldn't of done it, but the power of the moment took a hold of her. It wasn't fair to him, in any shape, way, or form, but she was overcome with the weakness that embodied her whenever she was next to him. She leaned in and pressed her lips against his, a quick, soft, and tender kiss, that meant more than anything she had ever experienced with the tan, blue-eyed resident.

"My friends do."


	3. Chapter 3

Just a note, Mark's parents aren't dead (for this story's purposes, but also in the series, they're just emotionally detached, from what I've seen and read, but if anyone knows where the writers say his parents are alive or deceased, let me know! (I'm not positive that I'll utilize them in this story, but if it comes up, I'd like to have the option!)) Anyways, thanks for the reviews! Love, love, love all of you! I'm just writing off the top of my head, so let me know if you guys have any suggestions or ideas that you want to see in this story!

_Little _Grey's Anatomy

Lexie peered over the thin sheets of papers in her hands, looking cautiously from face-to-face of the four additional people who sat around the table. At the flicker of her older sister's blue eyes into her own brown ones, Lexie quickly averted her gaze back to the pictures and numbers in her hands. She bit her lip before slamming two rectangles on the table and sliding them towards Yang.

"Two," she stated simply. Yang smirked and shook her head, sliding two rectangles back towards the brunette.

Yang looked deliberately at her cards for a good ten seconds, then directly into Karev's eyes, "Raise." She whipped her curly black ponytail back and forward as she shook her head with a small smirk, throwing two small pieces of bright, sticky, pink paper into a pile on the table in front of all five surgeons.

Four pairs of eyes turned to Kepner as she looked unsurely at the cards in her hand, she squinted her eyes intently, before shaking her head and throwing all her cards face down onto the table, "Fold."

Yang rolled her eyes, "Baby." She stated simply, feigning disgust, while her tone was oozing with victory. "Mer, what do you say?"

Meredith leaned back in her chair, not even trying to pretend she was remotely interested. "This is crap. This is all crap. This whole thing is unfair. Whatever, I don't even know why I'm playing."

April make a noise that sounded as though it was in agreement, but Alex spoke up before she could speak, "You're just pissy because even if you win any neuro cases, Shepard won't let you even let you look at a scalpel."

Meredith threw her cards on top of April's, face down, "Exactly, so why would I give up the surgeries I have for surgeries I can't even do. Seriously, unfair."

"Wah, wah, wah," Cristina mocked, "man-up, least you're not blowing surgeries like Kepner or letting Sloan take lead on your first solo like Avery. You've just got to find a new niche."

Meredith scoffed, "You wouldn't be saying that if you were in my position and cardio was on the line."

Cristina's taunting expression dropped, a mock expression of depression crossed her features, "Why would you even say something like that?"

"Where is Jackson, anyway?" April asked, looking directly at Lexie as Alex pondered his next move.

Lexie, while uneasy at the mention of her boyfriend and his mentor in the same sentence, was grateful that only April seemed to care about Jackson's whereabouts. "The chief asked him to do sutures or something in the clinic. I don't know; you're up Alex." She spoke briskly, wishing to drop the topic as soon as possible.

Alex threw two small sticky notes into the pile, "Call; what you got, little Grey."

Lexie rolled her eyes, in less than twenty-four hours; her old nickname had reared its ugly head. She placed her hands in her lap, covering her cards from view. "I'll tell you what," she began, glancing around the table into the other four surgeon's eyes, "I'm going to raise my atrial valve replacement with Altman _and_ my aneurism with Shepard. But if I win, you all have to stop calling me little Grey. Deal?" She finished her speech by throwing four pieces of paper in the pile.

"Whoah, little Grey's bringing out the big guns," Yang mocked, doing a sort of jovial dance with her cards, apparently assuming she had already won.

"Show me what you got," Cristina smiled, throwing her cards down to reveals the Queen of Spades, the Queen of Diamonds, the Queen of Cloves, the King of Spades and the King of Cloves. Alex mumbled a few a choice words before throwing down his hand face down, obviously in defeat.

Cristina let out a small chirping noise in victory, as she begun to pick up the pile of surgeries, before Lexie placed her hand down one-by-one. The Ace of Hearts, the King of Hearts, the Queen of Hearts, the Jack of Hearts, and the ten of Hearts. "Straight flush, read 'em and weep." Lexie smiled, picking up the pieces of paper with her new surgeries on them, one-by-one, as Cristina let them fall from her hands.

"What the—" Cristina began to say, as Kepner and Meredith chuckled to themselves.

"And this means," Lexie started, reading over her surgeries, "that I will no longer be referred to as little Grey."

Cristina rolled her eyes and leaned back, wallowing in her defeat, "Yeah, yeah. There is no way you're this good at poker."

As Lexie took a notebook from Kepner's desk and began to write all her surgeries down, "Please, I used to play my sister and her friends out of their lunch money. You'd be surprised how much caseh a bunch of ten year olds carry these days."

As Cristina scowled, Jackson opened the door and walked into Kepner's office, falling back onto the couch. "Sutures are a bitch," he stated simply.

Alex laughed, "Says the plastics guy."

Avery leaned his head back on the couch, "Whatever," he rolled his eyes. "Lex, what're you up to tonight?"

Lexie froze, she hadn't really spent more than two minutes alone with Jackson since she had first kissed Mark yesterday, the possibility that he would want her to spend time with him made her stomach churn. Luckily, Cristina spoke before she did, "She's busy tonight, Avery. We've got business we need to take care of."

Meredith gave her best friend and her sister a small smile of gratitude before making her way out of the room with much less than a few words of parting.

"What kind of business?" Avery asked, picking his head off of the back of the couch.

"Business, business," Karev was the first to speak this time, walking to the door with Cristina and April in tow. Alex seemed to had think this had settled Jackson's curiosity and Cristina added a no-nonsense face before she departed, that assured Jackson would no longer ask any questions.

As they left the room, Lexie felt an extreme amount of gratitude; so grand it was ominous, even vomit-inducing. After Cristina's comment and Meredith's smile, Lexie was reminded of Zola and everyone's plan to write an explicit testimony accrediting Meredith and Derek as the great parents they were. All of which had to be done in a sort of secret manner, as it seemed everything in her life these days had harbored some sort of secrecy. In summary, Lexie was grateful for her sister's hopeless situation because it got her out of spending time with her boyfriend. When did she become this kind of woman? When did she become this kind of human?

"Sorry Jackson," Lexie lied, "maybe we can do dinner next week?"

He nodded, "Well, do you have time to talk, like, now?" The blue eyed resident asked, hopefully.

Lexie froze. Her pen halted on the paper and she let out what sounded like a whimper. She tried to make her voice sound as normal as possible as she breathed the simple word, "Sure."

Jackson walked over to where she was seated behind April's desk, and sat on top of the wooden tabletop. "I know, I probably shouldn't ask you, I've been trying to avoid it for a while now, actually."

He seemed nervous, but she wasn't sure why. Shouldn't he have been expressing anger or confusion or hurt, anything but nerves; unless, he didn't know and she was simply freaking out and over-analyzing like she normally did.

He took her silence for permission to continue, "It's about Sloan."

She dropped her pen and willed herself not to talk, because talking led to rambling and rambling led to the revelation of secrets that should stay hidden, secrets that Jackson had no way of knowing, right? He couldn't know, could he?

It should of worried her, but it didn't. She couldn't put her finger on the emotion she was feeling until the next moment he spoke, and the feeling was gone.

For a split second, when she thought Jackson knew her most precious secret, Lexie Grey felt _relieved_.

"I just—I don't know how to impress him." Jackson admitted, picking up her pen and spinning it around in his fingers.

"Wha—what?" Lexie asked, debating on whether to be concerned or amused; instead she was stuck somewhere between dumbstruck and a bit annoyed.

"You know," Jackson urged, "he's just always so impressed with your work, and you have no interest in plastics. I know he's over you, I know that, so I know that when he compliments your sutures or your knowledge or your technique, he means it.

"I just don't know what to do, because I feel plastics is where I'm best, but what if I'm really as terrible as my mother thinks I am? What if Sloan is right? What if I can't measure up?"

Lexie would be lying if she said this was the first time she had seen Jackson this vulnerable, this aware of his own shortcomings in the operating room, he was her boyfriend after all, he confided in her many times. But no matter how many times he seemed to disclose this information, in attempt to bring them closer, the more he talked, the more she only wished to push him farther away.

He was way too normal for her liking. He worried about the doctor-thing, not emotional capabilities or over-whelming personality inadequacies; he worried about work. Work, surgery, being a doctor was the easy stuff for her. It was simple; there was a technique for all possible bodily deficiencies. You cut here, you suture there, connect some tissue, detach a tumor; simplicity.

The only flaws he held were inside his work, and as hard as she tried, Lexie just couldn't understand. She tried to be patient, she tried to let him talk it out, she really tried to feel some sort of sympathy for him, but instead, she just became frustrated.

"Listen, Jackson," she placed a hand on his forearm, attempting to halt the words of shame and confusion spilling out of his mouth, "all I can tell you is to educate yourself. You can read about more studies, more theories, more techniques. You can practice sutures and reconnecting tissue and disconnecting tissue. You can sit in the gallery when you're not in surgery and you can watch and you can learn. You can tell yourself you're capable, and you will be. If you just let yourself be great.

"You can't be me or Mer or Alex or Cristina or April. And _you can't **be** Mark Sloan_. So just accept it and be the best Jackson Avery. That's all you can do." She shook her head slightly before closing her notebook and heading towards the door, "I have to go, I have surgeries."


	4. Chapter 4

Shorter chapters than I'm used to, but it provides for quicker updates.

_Little _Grey's Anatomy

If her mother could see her now, Susan Grey would die, once again, from heartbreak. Her daughter was a disappointment, though Susan would never admit it to any soul, Lexie knew it to be overwhelmingly true. Lexie Grey was malicious, she was a liar, and she was an adulteress; she was the kind of girl her mother warned her about. Lexie Grey was everything her mother raised her not to be.

Lexie would've liked to believe she was blameless, that she could attribute her faults to the lies her father told her, the expectations the hospital held her too, the acceptance she had failed to acquire from her sister, the obstacles and the hard times she had to face in order to get to this point in her life; she desperately wished she could blame something, anything so she could keep believing her mother would still be proud of her, could still be proud of her.

However, no matter how she spun it, the fault was entirely hers. Though she couldn't help the events that led her to the place she was currently at, she could've helped the way she reacted to them. And Susan Grey did not raise her daughter to react the way she had.

Standing outside the door of the man she loved, Lexie Grey couldn't bring herself to turn away. She tried to talk herself out of knocking, out of falling into a hopeless situation, into the hopeless version of herself that she instantly became whenever he gave her that gentle smile. She thought about her mother, her father, her sisters, her boyfriend. She thought about all the reasons she shouldn't be in front of this door, she thought about all the factors and all the bullshit that had led them to all their downfalls, she thought about the two women across the hall that could, at any minute, walk out their door and catch the resident in the last place she should be. None of it mattered; she raised her fist and knocked three hard, deliberate times.

She heard brief, muffled sounds coming from inside the door, followed by an exaggerated huff and the sound of his voice speaking, "I told you, you live across the hall she'll be fine wi-"

His speech was cut-off the moment he opened the door and saw the visitor, he held a puffy-eyed Sophia in his hands. He bounced the baby slightly on his hip, "You're not mommies."

Lexie smiled slightly as he held the door open and moved aside for her to walk in. He didn't ask why she was there, he didn't ask why she wasn't with her boyfriend, he didn't ask what this meant, what all their sudden meetings meant; he didn't ask any of the questions he was rightfully entitled to ask. He simply led her to the couch with that sideways smile across his pretty face and asked, "You hungry?"

Lexie nodded gratefully. The pain in her stomach making her weak, she hadn't eaten much the past two days, not wanting to risk a run-in with anyone who might cause her to spiral into a further tornado of confusion in the hospital cafeteria or at the coffee cart. She took off her jacket and set it on the couch, this all blissfully, unnervingly comfortingly familiar.

"Want me to take her?" She gestured to the fussy child in his arms.

Maybe it was the fact that this child was the signature figure that had created the most recent boundary between them. Or maybe it was just the uncertainty of a parent, but Mark looked at her apprehensively, while trying to comfort the baby who was now forming tears in her tired, little eyes. "She's pretty fussy at the moment."

Lexie looked at him reassuringly, "I can handle it," she opened her arms, "trust me."

Mark gave her a timid smile, and handed Sophia over and into her open arms. The baby squirmed a little, tears falling slowly from her eyes. He watched Lexie coo and soothe the upset child, "You're okay, Sophia. You're okay." She turned the child in her arms, so that they were face to face, Sophia's feet brushing the tops of Lexie's jean clad thighs. Sophia made a noise that sounded like a giggle, to which Lexie responded with a bigger smile, "Yes, yes pretty girl. My name's Lexie, yes. Lexie."

Mark smiled at their interaction, before walking towards the kitchen, "Any requests?"

Lexie picked the little girl up and cuddled her in her arms, kissing her on the forehead, "You're so cute!" She laughed as Sophia reached for Lexie's hair, before replying to his question. "Whatever you were planning is fine. I'm starving."

As Mark made dinner, Lexie bonded with the little girl, who shortly fell asleep, Lexie's finger gripped tightly in her little hand. Mark brought two plates to the couch and set them down on the coffee table. He reached out to take his daughter from the resident, but Lexie averted his hands. She gazed her doe brown eyes into his light baby blues, "Can I just… hold her a little longer? She's kind of, I don't know, helping me with something."

Mark retracted his arms, but held her gaze, "What do you mean, little Grey? Helping you with what?"

She smiled at the man across from her before looking down to the little girl in her arms once more. She thought about telling him no one was allowed to call her little Grey anymore, but there was something so—so profoundly significant about the way he said it, the way he addressed her. With all the other residents, all the other attendings, it was a name utilized to let her know her place, that she was insignificant in the grand scheme of things, that she was the lesser Grey. But to him, to Mark Sloan, it meant she was _his_. She was his _little Grey_. And she may be damned, but _God_, she loved that feeling.

She held the child closer to her, the warmth giving her the strength she needed to speak evenly to him in this moment, "I don't know. It's just lately, God, I don't know."

Mark put his hand on her knee, trying to give her the comfort she needed. Lexie put the hand that wasn't supporting the child in her lap, on top of his. Why couldn't this be easier? It felt so right, how could being here, with him, be so, so wrong?

"Sophia is perfect, Mark. She's perfect," Lexie said, trying to convey the mess that composed the chaos in her head. "She's perfect and you—you and Callie and Arizona are so proud and so happy and so—so enamored with her. I was just thinking about my mom."

"Lex," Mark said soothingly, guiding her head to his chest, so that they all three of them were lying atop of each other, each holding one another.

"When does the point falter?" She continued, mumbling softly into his chest, "When does that point arise, when a parent –" She had trouble making sense, she wonder if he could understand her at all. "When does a parent give up?"

"Never," Mark whispered into her hair, before she could continue.

Lexie turned her head so it was now on his shoulder, so she could look into his eyes, "But what if the child screws up, I mean royally screws up? When does it become irreversible to make your parent proud again? How big of a disappointment is too big? How many mistakes can you make before you're too far gone?"

Mark ran his thumb softly up and down her cheek, he understood. How he understood, she had no idea, but he understood more than she could even bare to think. He smiled down at her, "Lex, you're parents are proud of you. Your mom, especially, is and forever will be proud of you.

"Maybe you've made mistakes, and maybe she's not specifically proud about the mistakes you've made, but the fact that you made mistakes, that you're learning from them; she's proud of that. Life is about making mistakes, little Grey. It's about growing, and making mistakes is a significant part of growing.

"I know you're used to being perfect," he smirked, she rolled her eyes good-naturedly, smiling at his uncanny ability to make her feel worthy, make her feel _good_. "But perfection isn't real, and it isn't life."

He squeezed her arm, pulling her closer, as she once again laid her head on his chest. His tone became a lighter as he finished his speech, "And, I know you're not used to imperfection, but I'll teach you a few tricks. Sometimes it's fun, being imperfect."


	5. Chapter 5

Perfect! Thanks for letting me know about Sloan's parents! I searched everywhere, and couldn't find a thing! And I just like knowing facts with sources, so thank you again! Also, thanks for all the review, ya'll! You guys are seriously, seriously awesome. I have the next 10 or so chapters planned out, but let me know if there's any scene you want Mark and Lexie to play out.  
><strong>One last thing, there will be a poll on my profile shortly about stories; please vote and let me know what you would like me to do! Thanks!<strong>

_Little _Grey's Anatomy

She hadn't kissed him, at least that night, so that meant she hadn't cheated, right? Sure she stayed at another man's house, slept in another man's bed, tightly in another man's arms, but there was no physical infidelity; just emotional. Which infidelity was worse? Being physically intimate and so obviously an adulteress? Or being emotionally connected to a man that was not your significant other?

However, after all that had happened, since the days of her return and the time spent with Mark the past few days, with all the things she had learned, she wasn't exactly sure if she cared. If she was supposed to care.

Lexie closed her eyes in the middle of a bed in an on-call room and allowed herself to remember the events that had transpired last night.

_With Sophia asleep in her crib at the foot of Mark's bed, Lexie laid atop the deep, royal violet comforter spread across the mattress. If she was being honest with herself, if she was being honest with anyone these days, she was would have admitted how comfortable his bed still was. How she could still feel the slight mold of her frame pressed into the mattress from all the times she had slept in this exact place._

_ Mark walked out of his bathroom, his shirt now absent from his bare, sculpted chest. Again, no questions were asked as he turned off the light and crawled under his covers. He held the blankets up for a moment longer, allowing Lexie to also maneuver herself in-between the sheets. He didn't reach out to her, though she wished he would have. He gave her space, as they spent the next few moments with their heads on separate pillows staring into each other's eyes._

_ A small, playful smile spread over Lexie's lips as she broke the silence, "I'm not sure that friends are usually allowed to sleep in friends' beds."_

_ Mark smirked, continuing to stare at her sideways, "My friends are."_

_ Lexie left the quiet laughter rumble out of her, "I _know_ your friends do, you perv."_

_ Mark's smirk grew as he reached his hand, of which was under the covers, and squeezed her hip, making Lexie jump and continue to laugh, trying to muffle the noises she was making with the pillow, as to not wake Sophia._

_ As her laughter died, she closed her eyes and allowed his strong hands to brush her bangs away from her eyes, she sighed contently._

_He stared at her intently as he gently whispered, "I'm trying, Lex. I'm trying really hard to be whatever you need."_

_ She placed her hand over his, stilling his movements, "I know. I know I don't make it easy. I just thought—" Any way she could think to justify herself, she sounded selfish; which was understandable considering how horridly selfish she was truly behaving. There was no other way to explain it, "I thought it would be better if you were in my life. Even if we were just friends, just having you beside me would make all of this easier."_

_She sighed and inched closer to his warm body, he moved his body closer as well, meeting her halfway, in the middle of the bed. She wrapped her arms around his middle, resting her hands on his back and chest. He held her closely, placing both hands on her hip. "I know what I said," she stated, placing her head on his chest. It was so easygoing, so stress-free, to not think about what she was and wasn't allowed to do. To just hold his hand in private or hold him tightly when she needed to, when she wanted to. "I know what I said," she repeated, "and I know it's only been two days, but I can't just be friends with you. I just don't know how to not love you."_

_Mark didn't say anything, for the umpteenth time that night he just supported her with silence. She knew he understood; he always understood her. It broke her heart, all over again, to be here in this position, in his arms, and know that the connection she so desperately craved, didn't work. That they, as a couple, didn't work._

_Tears filled her eyes as she pressed her head into his chest, concentrating on his slow and steady heartbeat. "Why didn't you try?"_

"_What do you mean?" Mark asked, attempting to adjust her on his body so that he could see her face, but Lexie just held him tighter, unwilling to let him see the tears that were now falling down her cheeks._

"_After you told me about Sophia, why didn't you try to stop me from walking away? Why didn't you ask me if I wanted to be a part of your life, a part of her life?" Lexie was now sobbing uncontrollably, if he had asked her what she was thinking in the days following their break up, if he had tried to understand her heartbreak, they would still be together now, at least together in a much less complicated manner._

"_Lexie," He attempted to adjust her again, this time to his avail, "Lexie, look at me." She closed her eyes tightly, attempting to rid herself of the lingering tears, before opening them slowly. Her doe, brown eyes bore into his own. She took a deep breathe, as he held her gaze and said, "Lexie, I tried."_

_She huffed and closed her eyes once again, he shook his head and wiped the tears the continued to fall from her eyes._

"_After that night, I didn't think you wanted to see me, much less talk to me, so I—I sent someone to ask you. To make sure that you were okay." At his confession, she opened her eyes as realization dawned on her. He did try. He just went about it the Mark Sloan way, the Lexie Grey way; the complicated way._

"_Who?" Before she asked the question, she had already registered the answer. The only person that asked her how she was that day, the only person that seemed to care about her emotions had been the man she had spent the last few months with. She was enamored with his concern and sincerity, but, according to Mark's words, it wasn't genuine._

"_I don't know if I should say," Mark stated simply._

God,_ this man. Lexie couldn't help the love that surged through her veins at his selflessness. He didn't want to create another mess in her life, he was trying to protect her, while risking the possibility of losing her forever._

"_You told him about the peanut butter cups?" Lexie asked, signifying she now knew his secret._

_Mark smiled, "You've always been a sucker for those things."_

"_What did he tell you I said?" She asked, now wondering what had truly ended their relationship; Mark's selfishness or her inability to trust him._

"_Nothing, he said nothing; that you didn't tell him anything. So, I dropped it. If you weren't ready to talk about it to what I assumed to be an objective friend, than you'd probably not want to talk about it with me. I couldn't blame you, all I could do was hate myself." He spoke honestly, finishing his speech and squeezing her tighter, hoping the revelation of his previous shortcomings wouldn't make her walk away again._

_Lexie moved her head back down to his chest, placing a single kiss atop the skin that covered his heart. "Thank you for telling me."_

_He rubbed her arm softly, "I'm sorry you found out this way."_

Her boyfriend hadn't been sweet or concerned or understanding when he had first pursued her, he saw an in, and he took advantage. Lexie was now stuck somewhere between loathing herself and hating Jackson Avery. Their whole relationship had been based off a lie. She had assumed he cared about her when he inquired into her sadness, she had assumed he just wanted to make her happy. But all he was doing was spiting his mentor.

After avidly avoiding her boyfriend since the day she got back from Molly's house, Lexie was now on a mission. She wanted to hear it straight from his mouth; she wanted him to admit he had taken advantage of her and her emotional state. She left the on-call room and began her storm of the hospital. She checked the board, making sure he wasn't in surgery. She checked the waiting rooms and all of the nurses' stations before making her way to the hospital cafeteria, where she found Jackson Avery, sitting right beside April, eating fries.

"Avery," she called out, as she walked to where he was seated.

By her tone and the fact that she had addressed him by his last name, Jackson knew he wasn't going to like this conversation. As she approached the table, Avery stood up and urged April to leave with his communicative eyes, but April gave him a broad smile, stole a fry, and scooted her chair closer to the table, telling him in no uncertain terms that she planned on watching her friends have it out in the middle of their workplace.

"Lexie," Jackson said, attempting to calm her with a single word.

She rolled her eyes, her frustration boiling in her stomach. Her anger was growing with every passing second; doubling as he attempted to smile his way out of everything. "Don't Lexie me, I can't believe you!"

"Lexie, calm down," he spoke softly, looking around at all the hospital personnel who began to quiet their conversations and stare at the quarrelling couple. "Just talk to me, baby."

Lexie scoffed in disgust, "Don't tell me to calm down, and do **not** call me baby!"

Jackson put his hands up slowly, defensively, "Okay, okay, what's wrong?"

Lexie's eyes grew; the audacity of the man in front of her was astounding. How had he kept up this act for months without even giving her the slight inclination of his deceitfulness? "Peanut-butter cups?" She was screaming now, "Seriously? Seriously!"

His face dropped, as recognition graced his features, "Lexie,"

"God," she continued, the rage building up in the pit of her stomach, her anger was bringing her so close to tears; she was weak, but she was livid, and she was finally focusing and extricating all of her frustrations on a singular object. "How could I be such an idiot? You made me think you cared!"

"Lexie, I do care," Jackson tried to explain himself, but she cut him off.

"No, no you didn't, and you don't. You took advantage of me, you took advantage of me when I was sad and hurt and confused. You don't lie to friends, Jackson." Her tone was becoming smaller, she became quieter as the tears raced down her cheeks, "How could you use me?"

Jackson stared into her eyes, full of heartbreak, "I'm so, so sorry. Please, let me explain." He reached out to touch her elbow; she pulled her arm away, as though she'd been burned.

Lexie shook her head and scanned her eyes over the crowd, of whom had all stood up to get a better view. She was determined to look anywhere but his face, "I can't even look at you right now."


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you for all the reviews, favorites, and alerts! You guys don't know how much it matters to me and fuels me to write more. And I know everyone brings up the peanut butter cups, but that is one of the main reasons I cannot support Jackson and Lexie (the other reason, obviously being Mark Sloan). You can't start a lasting relationship on something like that. Gahh, I could rant for days on this, but I'll just channel my frustration into more chapters! This will be a relatively short chapter, my apologies. I wanted to write it, but I have bigger storylines for this story, so stay tuned!  
>Love you guys!<p>

_Little_ Grey's Anatomy

Jackson Avery wasn't an ordinary man. From his above average intellect, to his above average bone structure, Jackson Avery was all-around above average. He was used to women throwing themselves at him, he was used to weak knees and stuttered sentences. He was used to women. He was not, however, used to Lexie Grey.

No matter what he did, no matter what he said, no matter how many pretty smiles he threw her way, she never flinched. If anything, all she did was push him farther and farther away.

She didn't conform to any set standards or principles. She didn't do 'normal' or 'simple'. All she knew was 'Grey'. And Grey was indistinguishable to Jackson Avery's mind. Grey was an inoperable tumor he was determined to figure out

Maybe it didn't start with emotions, he was well aware that he was just a rebound, a stand-in for the man she really wanted. But as time moved on, he believed her feelings had changed; his certainly had. Unfortunately, it seemed that whereas his emotions were absent in the beginning and more apparent as the months played on, it was opposite for her. She believed he cared about her right from the start, as more than a friend, which was why she had cared for him in the first place. He knew he was to blame for the events that had just transpired. He knew he should have told her, in some roundabout way, that he was inquiring into her feelings for the sanctity of people other than himself. But in any way he could think to form coherent thoughts that might prove to explain himself, to exonerate himself, he ended up the guilty party.

He could have skipped past this part: the anger, the disappointment, the explosion of events that ensued in the cafeteria. He could of skipped over all the bullshit and misunderstandings and made her happy; he could have made her fall in love with him. If only he had been given more time. Time to think about the possibilities of each scenario, time to think about how to present the situation, time to make her want him so badly the rest of it didn't matter. Unfortunately, his time had been abruptly cut short. Unfortunately, he didn't have nor did he need that time anymore. Unfortunately, thanks to a certain blue-eyed plastics attending, all Jackson Avery had, wanted, and needed time for now was time to get even.

The navy blue scrub clad attending was scrubbing-in in OR two, when Jackson stormed in. Sloan was staring intently at his patient, seemingly in the middle of a deep thought, through the window in front of him. His patient was a young boy, lying unconscious on the operating table, ready and prepped to have his cleft lip repaired.

Mark placed his hands in the air, ready to step into the operating room, water droplets dribbling down his forearm, "You're not on my service today, Avery." He stated, no resolute emotion in his tone.

Jackson waited for their eyes to connect before he took three steps forward and collided his fist with Sloan's chin. It was a quick and solid impact. Mark took two steps back, and put his hand to his jaw. Avery saw a faint trace a blood trickle from his mentor's open lip. Avery felt a brief moment of satisfaction, before the plastics attending spat red liquid into the sink and began to speak.

"What the hell, Avery?" Mark shouted, his hand that wasn't currently holding his jaw was now balled up in a fist at his side.

"What did you tell Lexie?" Jackson demanded, his surgical, now bruising hand throbbing by his side, imitating Mark's hand.

Mark displayed no sign of realization; he showed no surprise, no revelation. He had expected the fallout to his confession, and unlike the resident standing before him, he could accept and deal with the consequences. Instead, of reacting with blazing fists, as Jackson expected him to, he set his jaw in preparation to be hit again and simply stated, "Nothing she didn't want to know."

Jackson raised his fist again, only to be interrupted by a scrub nurse tapping on the window from inside the operating room. Mark held up his hand to the window to assure her that he had the situation under control. As the scrub nurse made her way back to the patient, Mark turned back to Avery.

"The one and _only_ reason I haven't pummeled you into a ball of your own undeserving filth is because I need these hands to change a child's life." Avery scoffed; leave it to the mighty Sloan to impose a sort of superiority after being punched in the face. "The one and only reason, Avery. Get out of my sight." Sloan spoke slowly and calmly as he wiped his blood on a nearby napkin.

"This isn't over, you meddled in my relationship with Lexie. You messed it up with the girl that I—the girl that I'm in love with!" Jackson exclaimed in frustration.

"No." Mark scolded the accusation; talking at a slightly heightened, yet rough pitch. "No, you don't love her, because if you loved her you would've been honest with her from the beginning.

"She didn't care about your appearance;" Mark reasoned, whole-heartedly, "she can get any guy in any room she walks into. Lexie isn't like those other shallow women who look past your lame pick-up lines and low self-worth because you're genetically gifted. She thought you cared about her. She thought you were different, an exception to all the other men with pretty faces. But you didn't care, you took what I said and you manipulated it to your own advantage. And that's not on me; it's not my fault. It's yours. It's yours for not recognizing what an intelligent and remarkably determined woman, Lexie is.

Mark's tone lowered to the deadly calm it had been before, "And you want to talk about meddling, about ruining things? You two would have never gotten together if you hadn't screwed me over."

"That was you," Jackson defended, the moment Mark paused in his speech, "You told me to ask how she was, you chose not to ask her yourself, that was you." He spoke quickly and heatedly, "You can't blame me for doing what you said to do, for doing what she needed."

Mark turned the sink on and began to wash his hands and arms once again, "But while you manipulated the situation to benefit yourself, I did what I thought she wanted, and sent a friend. You were supposed to be her friend. You weren't supposed to take advantage of her.

"You had to of known she'd find out, whether I'd tell her or she'd ask you flat out. You had to of known, and you chose not to confess earlier. That's on you." Mark turned off the sink with his elbow, walking slowly to the door. "She asked me, and I told her. You have no one to blame but yourself."

Before he reached the door, Jackson stopped him with his voice, "When did she ask you? You had to have led her to it. When and what did she ask you?"

Mark shook his head, a small, sad smirk on his face, "It doesn't really matter."

"Lexie and I have a relationship, I deserve to know. It does matter," Avery insisted, taking steps closer to Sloan, his hands firmly by his side. "I have a right to know."

Mark waited until he was close enough, so that he could assert his height over Avery. Looking straight down into Avery's eyes, Mark glared daggers at the younger surgeon, "You have no right. You lost your right to her the day you thought you won her. You lost your right the day you betrayed her trust and her friendship and took advantage of her. You lost your right. Now get out of my OR, before you lose your right to touch a scalpel."


	7. Chapter 7

_Little _Grey's Anatomy

Lexie sat beside her sister on the stools on the right of the bar of Joe's. Through the years, Lexie had come to the conclusion that there wasn't much Greys couldn't figure out without the assistance of tequila. Though she hadn't said much to Meredith, Lexie had an eerie, albeit ominous, feeling that Mer knew that her little sister was in the middle of a dilemma.

"Two more, Joe," Meredith nodded at the hefty bartender before turning her attention onto her sister. "So are you going to tell me about you and Mark, or do I have to get you drunk first?"

Lexie stared at the blonde woman with awe, "How did you…" Her question faded off into the music and quiet conversation in the midst of the bar's atmosphere.

Meredith gave her a knowing look as Joe filled their empty shot glasses with two more rounds of tequila. Though she was smart and beautiful and generous; most people seemed to overlook the simple things in her personality. People seriously underestimated the knowing powers of Meredith Grey.

"You're not as subtle as you think you are, little sister," Meredith smiled, "Not to mention the whole cafeteria debacle," Meredith clinked her glass against Lexie's and swallowed the liquid whole.

Lexie downed her own shot and slammed the glass down on the wooden counter, "God, I'm an awful person."

Meredith smiled and touched Lexie's shoulder gently, "You're not awful, Lexie. You're a Grey."

Lexie shared a laugh with her sister, before putting her head in her hands, "Is that you're a excuse for everything?"

Meredith shrugged, the smile still plastered on her face, "It's a good excuse.

Lexie looked into her sister's eyes, the same eyes that three years ago wouldn't have even acknowledged her in a closed, abandon room. Meredith was now having a conversation and acknowledging their relating DNA. Meredith Grey had grown. Her shallow blue eyes had conveyed that clearly. She had matured; she was a wife, a mother, a friend, and a sister. The mistakes that she had made and the obstacles that she had overcome hadn't shaken her, they hadn't broken her; they made her stronger. She took all of her experiences and used them to make her solid and resilient.

Lexie placed her elbow on the bar top and her cheek in her hand, "Do you think it's possible for people to change?"

Meredith raised her eyebrows in analysis of the question, "Do you?

Lexie gave her sister a displeased look, "You can't do that."

"Do what?" Meredith asked innocently.

"Answer my question with another question, that's not how this is supposed to work." Lexie reasoned.

Meredith laughed, "Let me tell you how this works, Lexie. I buy you alcohol and you sort out your life without any real help from me, so I ask you again: do you think it's possible for people to change?"

Lexie rolled her eyes, but decided to entertain her sister quips, "You did."

Meredith smiled and nodded at Joe for additional drinks, "I'm still a Grey."

Lexie smiled, picking her head off her hand, and accepting the drink. "So, as a Grey, can you tell me if other people change?"

Meredith looked at her pensively, "Are you talking about you or Mark?"

Lexie shrugged, clinking her glass against Mer's, "Maybe both." They downed their drinks together.

"Well, look at it this way. Where were you three years ago?" Meredith asked, scrunching her face as the hot liquid poured down her throat.

Lexie, again, gave her a look of displeasure, "Here. I was here three years ago. On this exact stool, in this exact bar, drinking these exact drinks. Are you trying to rub it in? That I'm not as anomalous and changeable as Meredith Grey?"

Meredith rolled her eyes good naturedly, "No, dumbass. Emotionally, or psychologically or whatever, where were you mentally three years ago?"

Lexie thought about it intently, where was she? Dead mother, drunk father, estranged and pregnant sisters, unresolved romantic pining, struggling intern in a hospital that idolized her sister's dead mother; some things remained the same. Her mother was still gone, her father was still undergoing a past-midlife crisis, one of her sisters was still pregnant, she was romantically disordered between two men, she was in the middle of her rigorous fourth year as a resident, and Ellis Grey still seemed to rear her prodigal head whenever she least expected it.

But some things had changed, right? Here she was, sitting with a woman who discounted her because of who her father was, having drink and being friendly—sisterly. She was living in Meredith's attic, not sharing an apartment with a man she had spent hours fantasizing about, a man who was now deceased. She had proved her worth in the hospital and was now the most requested fourth year resident in her class. She had made peace with her mother's death and her father's new girlfriend (though she still believed the woman was whoreish). She had found love and life and support; she had found bits and pieces of herself that she hadn't even known existed.

"Well, I used to be bright and cheery, now I'm just like you, just dark and twisty," Lexie joked as her sister playfully punched her in her arm.

"You've changed, Lexie Grey." Meredith reasoned, "It may not have been all rainbows and whatever, cheery and bright or whatever, but has it taught you something?"

Lexie shrugged, unwilling to admit the truth in her sister's words.

"See, it may have epically sucked, but you learned something. You became stronger; you became smarter; you grew. There's something to learn from all this crap that you've been through. You've changed." Meredith smiled, lifting her brow in mock superiority.

Lexie couldn't argue with that logic; for every thing that remained the same, twenty more had changed. Though part of her question had been answered, her mind was still swimming with more questions, more insecurities. "But what about Mark? Do you really think he's capable of change?"

Meredith gave her sister a meaningful look, "Lexie, do you really need to ask that question?"

Maybe she had known the answer all along, he had a kid now, two in fact. He had proven he could be in a solid monogamous relationship with a singular woman for over a week. He had grown-up, made big boy decisions, assisted in situations for reasons outside of selfish gain. Yes, he had changed. But was that enough for them to pursue a relationship together? A future together?

Before she had the chance to ask, Meredith had downed another shot and placed her palms on the bar top, "Look, Lexie. You have two gorgeous men fighting over you. From where I'm standing, it's not necessarily a bad place to be."

Lexie downed her shot, preparing to speak, but Meredith cut her off before she had the chance. "But from where they stand, it sucks." Meredith ignored Lexie's sigh and continued, "Lexie, you're a big girl, you can make your own decisions. You don't need me to tell you what you should or should not do.

"You were always able to make your own choices; you just let everyone else's crap get in your way. So forget about their past, forget about your past, forget about all everything everyone else is constantly telling you. And just choose. Just pick one, pick a man that loves you." Meredith shook her head in sympathy as Lexie stared at her, desperately in need of her big sister's support.

"But what if I choose wrong? What if I pick the wrong man?" Lexie asked anxiously.

"Whether wrong or right, you have to just choose. Because, believe me, it sucks to be the one waiting on the other side, just hoping one day, the one you love will come to their senses." Meredith finished, her hand firmly on Lexie's shoulder in support.

Lexie bit her lip nervously before whispering, "I just—I don't want anyone to get hurt, not because of me.

"It hurts, and it hurts for a long time. But once the pain of being rejected is over, he can move on and then he can heal." Meredith gave her sister a supportive smile, "Just choose, Lexie. And soon."

Lexie sighed, ready for a subject change, "How's the adoption coming along?"

Meredith replicated her sister's sigh of defeat, "Everything is all messed up, I messed everything up."

Lexie's mind displaced all her current battling emotions as all she could do was feel sympathy for her sister, "Mer, you did what you did to protect your child, they can't deny that."

"Maybe not, but they can sure as hell keep her away from me because of it." Lexie's heart broke for her sister as tears came to Meredith's eyes.

"Meredith, we will get you your baby back. There are no parents more deserving and more loving than you and Derek. Is there anything I can do?" Lexie placed her hand over her sister's on her own shoulder.

Meredith shook her head and slid her free hand over the bar, onto Lexie's keys, taking them off the wood and putting them into her own pocket, "Yeah, you can walk your ass across the street and fix your damn life."

The Grey sisters shared a smile as Lexie squeezed Meredith's hand before walking towards the door of Joe's bar.

* * *

><p>She found the blue-eyed surgeon charting at a nursing station, he was so engrossed in his notes he didn't see her approach. At his turned back, she debated whether to call his attention to her presence. She took a deep breath before acknowledging him, "I've thought it over, long and hard," she spoke loudly and clearly. She saw him pause in his notes, but he didn't turn to face her.<p>

Instead of being disgruntled by his lack of attention, she decided to take advantage of his current state. "I've made a choice, well it wasn't really a choice, but I recognized—" She took another deep breath, why was this so difficult? She was sure, she was sure she was making the right decision. She hadn't been this sure since she graduated medical school. She was forming and growing and changing and piecing herself together, bit by bit.

She took one more deep breath, "I've realized I'm better with you." She spoke with more determination this time, "I'm a better person with you; you make me a better person. You hurt me. You did, but I need you in my life. Because… because you make me think. You make me work. You just… You make me. So I've chosen and I choose you. I choose you a hundred and ten times over."

She closed her eyes and prepared for him to turn, as he spun around on his heel, she repeated her previous words, "I choose you."


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry this chapter is so choppy, I usually write the chapters in a singular day, but I've been so all over the place, so this chapter has been written every day since Wednesday. I'll try to get another one (or two) out before Monday night!  
>On another note, I'm not sure if I should be hopeful or cynical that next episode we'll get some Mark and Lexie action. I'm going with cynical, we won't get anything. That way, if by the grace of Shonda Rhimes something does happen, it'll be a pleasant surprise.<br>**Don't forget to vote on my profile!**

_Little_ Grey's Anatomy

Lexie sat across from Jackson at the breakfast table. His swollen hand was under a bag of frozen peas while his face remained emotionless. Whether it was the events that had occurred between him and Mark the evening before, or the events that had transpired between him and herself, Lexie didn't know. But something had made him determined to act and remain unreadable.

"I still can't believe you hit him," Lexie said softly, swirling the remaining milk from her cereal around in her bowl.

"Yeah, you said that already," Jackson stated, staring at his newspaper intently.

Lexie sighed, picking up her bowl, and began walking it to the kitchen sink. Was it always going to be like this? He had repeatedly said that he had known all along it would play out this way. While Jackson Avery was an exceptional surgeon, with an exceptional bone structure, and an overall exceptional abilities, his confidence levels were severely diminished. Not that she could blame him. After all, she had been a significant distributing factor to the core of his insecurities.

However, no matter how she construed it in her head, no matter how many times she tried to scold herself into guilt or remorse, she couldn't do it. She couldn't feel bad for her choice. She couldn't bring herself to regret the man she had chosen. Because no matter which way she thought about it, Mark Sloan was the one for her.

_"I've realized I'm better with you." She spoke with more determination this time, "I'm a better person with you; you make me a better person. You hurt me. You did, but I need you in my life. Because… because you make me think. You make me work. You just… You make me. So I've chosen and I choose you. I choose you a hundred and ten times over."_

_She closed her eyes and prepared for him to turn, as he spun around on his heel, she repeated her previous words, "I choose you."_

_He didn't say a word, but she could feel his eyes searching her expression, she counted to three before opening her eyes, mentally preparing for the possibilities of what was to come. He could have been thinking that it was too late, maybe in the hours in which she had left his bed he had decided he didn't want to do this to himself anymore. He could have been thinking about his daughter, his new life; he could have decided that he needed someone older, more mature, who wouldn't pull on his heartstrings and then proceed to run away time and time again. Lexie had decided to look everywhere but to the positive, she had decided not to get her hopes up, she had decided it was up to fate. But she knew, deep down, he had the power to break her in two._

_When she opened her eyes, she found his staring lovingly back at her. She felt a small sense of relief, until she further examined his features, "What happened to your face?"_

_Mark raised an eyebrow, unable to hide his amusement with her bluntness, "Excuse me?"_

_Lexie smiled slightly at her own words, in hindsight, she could have been more elegant with her words. However, her smile quickly fell as she took a few steps forward and placed her fingertips gently on his jaw. His eyes squinted in pain, but he didn't move away from her touch. "What happened?" She asked again._

_Mark placed his hand on top of hers, curling his fingers around her own, holding it firmly to his jaw, "Doesn't matter."_

_Lexie's heart leapt at his words, though he was injured, though she was hurting, though everything had gone wrong in the past; none of it mattered. They could make this work, they could hold a successful, loving, solid relationship, because nothing else mattered, not anymore._

_Her sister had been right, once she had decided to ignore what others thought, the falsehoods that others believed, she would be happy. None of it mattered, because no one knew them, not really. They saw her as a child; they saw him as a womanizer. They didn't know how they worked, how they brought out the best in each other. No one knew them, so it didn't matter what anyone else said._

_She wanted to press the issue, to ask him again, how his jaw became a light hue of black with dry blood on the side. The last time he was in this kind of shape, it was because of her. She wanted to know if it was her that caused him pain again, but the look in his eyes silenced her. _Doesn't matter.

_He leaned in slowly, their hands still connected on the side of his face. She smiled as his lips briefly brushed hers. Maybe he knew what she still had to do, and was just giving her a small taste of things to come. Or maybe it was the fact that they were in the middle of the hospital, and he didn't want people to talk about them just yet, not while things were so new. Or maybe he had all intention of deepening their reunion, until she pulled away._

_He gave her a soft smile, disclosing that he already knew what she was about to say, but she felt the need to say it aloud, so that there were no uncertain terms, not between them, not anymore._

"_I love you," Lexie said tenderly, "and I'll choose you a hundred times over if I have to." She repeated her earlier words, trying to convey the determination and truth of her words. "But before I can _be_ yours completely, I have to make sure there is no uncertainty that it's over with Jackson. I need to tell him, face-to-face, loud and clear."_

_He smiled at her Lexie-ness. She was really the most exceptional person he had ever met. After months of back and forth, months of should-we and shouldn't-we, months of not doing what they really wanted to do, she wanted to postpone their reunion to make sure nothing else had an opportunity to fall through. She wanted to make sure they did things right this time._

"_Go ahead," he said simply, no resentment in his voice, "if you want to do this right, we're going to do this right."_

_She smiled broadly and gently grasped his face in between her hands, holding it there, careful to avoid his bruise. To a passerby, it may have looked as though she was about to kiss him, but Mark knew better. They shared a moment of silence, of togetherness, before her anxiety got the best of her and she lowered her hands from his face._

"_Tomorrow, you and me," she let her words hang in the air._

_He nodded slowly, "Together, I got it. Now go do what you have to do."_

Since their reunion, Lexie had spoken, in short sentences (as Jackson already knew he had been fighting a losing battle against Mark Sloan) to her now ex-boyfriend. She had, in no words at all, figured out where the bruise on her now boyfriend's jaw had generated from. And she had encountered a sleepless night and awkward breakfast.

It wasn't going to be easy, living in a house with two men she had thought herself to love, only to turn back to the plastics attending. It wasn't going to be easy, walking the hospital floors with the knowledge that everyone was no doubt manipulating her old and new relationships into something they knew nothing about. It wasn't going to be easy facing the obstacles that lay inevitably ahead of her, ahead of all of them. But it was going to be worth it, she knew that. Because she had something she didn't have before.

She had Mark Sloan.


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry for the wait, I've been busy and uninspired with all the lack of our favorite couple (_COME ON SHONDA!_), but I've realized in these times of great desperation (not the least bit dramatic) sometimes you just got to get off your ass (or sit on your ass and type in this case) and make what you want to happen, happen.  
>Plus, with <em><strong>AMAZING<strong>_ readers like you guys (who have been messaging me and alerting me for four months) it all seems worth it. I need Mark and Lexie back together, so I'm continuing this story. Read and review and be rewarded with more chapters, thanks so much for your support guys!

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><p><em>Little<em> Grey's Anatomy

Lexie Grey stood across from the OR board, physically shaking her head in amusement, though, emotionally, her head was spinning with anxiety. Since breakfast that morning with her current ex-boyfriend, the brunette resident had been experiencing mixed thoughts consisting of random, but extreme, highs and lows.

_How am I going to continue living with my ex-boyfriend?_

Low.

_Mark Sloan._

High.

_Once again, I am going to be the center of the Seattle Grace gossip cesspool._

Low.

_Mark Sloan._

High.

_I could really go for a cupcake right now._

Low.

_Jackson left for work._

High.

_He was my ride._

Low.

_I should have thought that through._

Low.

_Mark Sloan._

High.

_I should invest in a car._

Low.

_I'm so having a cupcake for lunch._

A little bit of high and low.

_I'm on Mark's service today._

Indistinguishable emotions.

She knew the second she saw her name next to his that he had requested her, but the more she thought about it, the more unsure she was. What if he didn't request her? What if he sees the board and begins to think that she requested him? What if he thought that she was so desperate to be next to him, now that they were sort of officially together, that she demanded to be put on his service? What if he didn't understand she wanted to take things slow?

In the midst of her excess mental vomit of thought, and shifting her weight from her left to her right while chewing on the ends of her fingernails, an attending in a white lab coat brushed against her arm, seemingly attempting to get a good view of the board.

"It's going to be a long, hard day, Dr. Grey," his rough voice sent shivers down her spine, she smiled despite herself, "are you ready for that kind of endurance?"

The sexual innuendo did nothing to quell her anxiety, but it did remind her of his ability to make her heart stop with a single sentence. It reminded her of the qualities that made him so indistinguishably _Mark Sloan._ It reminded her of why she chose him, why her mental freak out was completely unnecessary. It reminded her that they were going to get through this. It reminded her of all the things she needed to remember; and all with one sexual comment. However, she would never let herself admit her awe of his timing and ability. Instead, she decided to ignore the comment all together and be blatant, "Did you request me on your service today?"

"No," Mark replied, a little too quickly.

At the smirk of disbelief on Lexie's face, he scoffed loudly, "No," the plastics surgeon repeated, "No, because that would require me to talk to Kepner. And I like to avoid that at all costs."

Lexie raised her eyebrow to indicate that she still wasn't buying it.

"She just has this whiny, eager, 'like me, like me' voice," Mark finished, raising his voice to mimic the enthusiastic Chief Resident and crossing his arms across his chest, defensively.

"Whatever you say, Dr. Sloan," Lexie nodded, his signature smirk still plastered on her face.

"Plus," Mark dropped his voice to a lower pitch, as to not draw further attention from the nurses that were already talking amongst themselves at the nearby desk, not even bothering to hide their obvious observation of the pair standing by the OR board, "that would make me seem desperate." He continued, "Trying to get you on my service so we could have the same schedule. Who does that?"

Lexie felt her smirk fall into a full-on smile, "Not Mark Sloan," she replied, unconvincingly.

Mark shrugged, briefly running his hand down her back, smiling as she leaned slightly into his pressure, "Even Mark Sloan has his moments," he whispered in her ear.

Lexie turned to face her attending, it took everything in her to not kiss him senseless in the middle of the surgical floor; instead, thinking on her feet, she opted for a different plan, "How long until our first surgery, Dr. Sloan?" The young resident asked, beginning to walk backwards, hoping he would soon catch on to what she was suggesting.

Mark kept his face and his tone steady, but began to follow her as she turned on her heel and walked past the nurse's station, "I'd say we have a good half an hour, shall we discuss the patient's chart, Dr. Grey?"

Lexie turned, once again, as they approached the solid brown door of an on-call room, her back pressed against the cool wood and her face was mere inches from the plastic attending's, "Actually, Dr. Sloan, I was hoping you could examine a few parts of _my_ anatomy."

Mark placed his hand behind her back, turning the knob of the door, causing the pair to stumble back into the room, "At your service, Dr. Grey."

Just a few minutes ago, she truly did have every intention of taking their relationship slow; going through each 'normal' step properly, as if they were just two, everyday, ordinary, normal people. But, at this very moment, Lexie Grey couldn't think of anything she wanted to do _less_ than take things slow with Mark Sloan.

The second the bolt clicked to lock, her back was up against the wall once more. She couldn't think, much less summon the words to convey her previous desire to do this the normal way.

She pulled the lab coat down his shoulders, discarding it mindlessly on the linoleum, and brought her arms around his neck, resting her hands on his shoulders. In one swift movement, she was in the air, his hands on her hips, as her legs wrapped around his waist.

She was trying to think, what was the normal way, again? How was one supposed to go slow in a relationship? Her mind was a bit hazy; all she was aware of was the feeling of being back in his arms.

Then it happened. All of the rushed movements, the rapid desire to get as close as possible, the pressure of being back together, it was nothing, _nothing_ compared to the moment his lips touched hers. And the moment it happened, the moment they finalized their reunion with the joining of their mouths, of their lips and their tongues, in that moment, Lexie knew that there was no way in hell she would ever want to be normal with Mark Sloan; there was no way they could ever _be_ normal. She would always and forever simply be in love with this man, and she didn't want to, nor did she think she could, ever control that.

Her hands worked their way under his scrub top, explicitly and unabashedly reacquainting herself with the sheer feeling of him. Nothing had changed. Nothing and everything had changed. "Shirt, off," Lexie managed to gasp, as Mark's teeth scraped against her neck.

He complied by leaning slightly back, making sure her back was supported by the wall, as she took her time brushing her fingers against his tanned skin as she pulled his shirt over his head.

As the attending's scrub top hit the floor, she expected his lips to immediately find their way back to hers. Instead, he stood as he was, shirtless, hair in disarray his blue eyes burning with something she thought they had lost a long time ago.

Though the previous moments had been filled with rapid, burning passion, the desire to get as close as possible, to feel each others' warmth once more, Mark's voice was remarkably steady as he spoke. "I want you to know," his words rang loud in the quiet room, despite his soft voice and their heavy breathing, "this time will be different, I promise."

Even if she wanted to, even if she tried she couldn't tear her eyes away from his; she could never tear his heart away from his. It was all coming back now, in a force harder than she could have ever imagined, she was so in love with this man, so in love it hurt. And it scared the hell out of her.

Her mind was spinning and hazier then before, this was happening, finally. They were together, and slow or not, they were going to work this time. Before she poured her heart out to the man holding her in his arms, she had to steady her thoughts, take time to think with her feet on the ground. So she took all the words she wanted to say and let them out in a long sigh, "Kiss me."

And he did.


	10. Chapter 10

So, I kinda get what Shonda is doing; she wants Lexie to pine and long for Mark the way Mark pined and longed for Lexie. But if she doesn't hurry her brilliant ass up (or if she even THINKS about putting another man in Lexie's life) I will… do something threatening. DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS EPISODE! DID YOU SEE THE PROMO FOR NEXT EPISODE! DID YOU DIE LIKE I DID! THE LOOKS! THE LONGING! AWHHMUHHHGAHHH!

On another note, thanks so much for all of your support, I was literally laughing out loud at some of the stuff you guys were saying (shout out to Jime-GA-Lover's "lucky bitch" and .II's "patience is a trait of all Slexie shippers (BECAUSE IT'S SO TRUE!)) Please keep up the reviews and the alerts and the messages, they mean everything! Love you guys!

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><p><em>Little<em> Grey's Anatomy

"I love me some cupcakes," Lexie stated, peeling the paper liner from the side of the cake. She smiled at the bright pink icing spread across the top of the chocolate muffin, unaware and uncaring towards the looks of her fellow residents sitting across from her.

"I think I may just have found the answer to world peace," she continued, taking a bite of her lunch, "cupcakes. It's that simple. That easy."

"Drugs?" The curly haired resident on the other side of the table asked, turning slightly to face her best friend.

Meredith shook her head at Cristina, "Oh no, this is a different kind of high."

"A sugar high?" April asked, setting her tray down on the table and pulling her chair out, before sitting down.

"Aw," Cristina sighed, taking a sip of her water, "look at the little virgin, all virginy with her virgin thoughts."

"Kepner!" Lexie smiled at the new addition to their table, "Cupcake?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Karev stated, also setting his tray on the table and taking a seat, "Little Grey is getting laid."

Lexie scrunched up her face at the accusation and shook her head at Meredith, who turned to her sister with a question in her eyes, "First of all, there is _no more _'Little Grey.' Second of all, can't I just be in a good mood?" Lexie asked loudly, "Why do you always have to associate sex with my happiness?"

Meredith rolled her eyes as she, as well as Cristina and Alex stated at the same time, "Because your heart lives in your vagina."

Lexie shook her head at their timely and annoying synchronization. It must have been a conspiracy, a 'oh, look little Grey is happy, let's pop her little bubble.'

"I take it back," Lexie asserted, swiping her finger across the top of the cake, picking up some of the pink frosting on her index finger. "No cupcakes for any of you."

"What about your world peace?" Meredith asked light-heartedly.

Lexie placed her index finger in her mouth and cleaned it of the icing, before answering, "Screw world peace." She pulled her finger from her mouth with a 'pop' sound, "This is now a dictatorship. If you want a cupcake, you must bow to me, Lexie Grey, queen of cupcakes."

Karev scoffed, "What were you saying about drugs, Yang?" He reached his arm across the table, making a swipe for a cupcake, to which Lexie slapped his hand away.

"And for your information," Lexie continued, this time focusing on the cupcake in her hand, deliberately tracing each and every curve and crevasse with her eyes, determined to look everywhere but the eyes of her friends. "There is no sex involved in my happiness," she dared a gaze away from her delicious treat and across the table, only to be greeted by looks of skepticism. "My heart does not live in my vagina!" Lexie clarified loudly. She didn't know why she felt the need to justify herself to anyone, much less these people: the post-it marriage, the surgery robot, the serial pervert, and the virgin. Her relationship was none of their business; her life was none of their business. And yet, here she was, trying to convey to these people that this time was different.

This time was different. She knew that, Mark knew that, who cared who else knew it too?

"Whatever you say, Little Grey," Karev rolled his eyes, as he started in on his tuna salad sandwich.

Lexie nodded to Meredith, who in turn pulled the sandwich from his hands and threw it upon his tray. Before Alex could manage even a noise in disapproval, the tray had passed from Meredith's hands, to Cristina's hands, to April's hands, and ended up in front of Lexie.

Lexie took a bite of the tuna salad before turning towards Alex and deliberately placing inflection on each of the words in her sentence as she spoke, "No. More. Little. Grey."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Karev sighed, making no attempt at arguing, having already fought this battle a few times these past couple of days and lost. Instead, he pushed out his chair and walked away from the table.

"Damn, now he's going to try to steal my double heart," Cristina huffed, stuffing the remainder of her lunch in her mouth.

"Double heart?" Lexie asked, taking her time finishing Alex's sandwich.

"Yeah," The curly-haired surgeon stated with a full mouth, pushing her chair back and standing up, "Guy's got a tumor the size of his heart in the right side of his chest, idiot thought two heartbeats for his entire life was '_normal_'," she made sure to spit out the word 'normal' with as much sarcasm as Cristina Yang could muster, which, considering it was Cristina Yang, was a lot.

"That's not your patient, that's my patient," April exclaimed, also standing up.

Yang laughed manically, "Not anymore, and every second I spend arguing with you over a case that is clearly mine, evil spawn is peeing all over my territory."

Cristina then proceeded to knock over two chairs, causing a commotion to which all the other occupants of the cafeteria turned to look at, before jogging off, behind Alex. April laughed awkwardly and nervously, as she looked back at the gawking faces. She quickly moved to pick the chairs back up and then continued at a brisk walk behind her competitors.

"You don't want in on that action?" Lexie asked her sister, nodding her head towards the direction in which the three surgeons left.

"And get my head bit off by Cristina?" Meredith asked with a laugh, "I'll pass." Lexie laughed along with her sister, sometimes she wondered how a pair like them got along so well. "Besides," Meredith continued, "while they're all fighting over double heart guy, I'll be in the OR with Bailey doing the equivalent of a quadruple heart guy."

Lexie bit her tongue in surprise, "Ow – A what? What is it?" She asked eagerly.

Meredith shook her head, "Nope. No, no, no, I'm not telling you, Lexipedia."

"Why not?" Lexie asked offended.

Meredith laughed, "Because then you're going to swoop in with all your Lexipedia knowledge and try to steal my quadruple heart!"

Lexie shrugged, "This is true. But why aren't the vultures all over this?"

"Same reason you weren't," Meredith smiled, "they don't know."

"Touché," Lexie finished the sandwich before sitting back and stretching her arms over her head. "Well, I'm off. Back into the big bad world of plastic surgery."

"How's that going, by the way?" Meredith asked, genuinely concerned for her sister's well being, "You and Mark?"

Lexie couldn't help the smile that spread across her face, her intense 'cupcake' happiness coming back in full swing, "We're good, really good."

"Good," the older Grey said sincerely, "you know I'll never admit this publicly, but I've been rooting for you guys. I think you made the right choice." Lexie felt her jaw fall open, like she had lost all control of her mouth. If she had been drooling, she wouldn't have been able to help it.

"Close your mouth, I'm serious," Meredith laughed.

"I don't know if I should be excited or mortified that you condone my life choices, Meredith Grey." Lexie stated in good humor.

"All I'm saying is, you two aren't the same when you're apart," Meredith started to explain, "Mark Sloan, dirty whore or not," Lexie made a disapproving face, of which her sister ignored, "he's the reason you and I are sitting here right now, talking, as sisters. And while I didn't approve at first—"

"That's an understatement," Lexie mumbled, interrupting her sister.

"While I didn't approve _at first_," Meredith repeated, placing emphasis upon the words 'at first.' "You guys make each other better, and all that other crap. I don't know, you're just, you're Mark Sloan and Little Grey."

Lexie attempted to keep her face as serious as possible, but at her sister's approval and support, she couldn't help the smile that appeared upon her face for the umpteenth time that day, "That'll cost you a sandwich."

* * *

><p>Lexie sighed, pressing the elevator 'down' button before leaning her head against the cool tiled wall. It had been a long day, with the reconnecting and the surgeries and the incessant mocking and gossiping from her friends and coworkers, all she wanted to do was go home and sleep for days.<p>

The elevator dinged, signaling its arrival. As she heard the doors open, Lexie pushed herself back off the wall, keeping her gaze downcast as her fatigue continued to plague her body and mind.

"Hiya, gorgeous," Lexie smiled as she heard his voice address her, before she could even raise her eyes from the floor, her feet guided her into his arms. She lifted her hands and tugged the collar of his signature black leather jacket, a hand gripping each side, pulling his face close to hers. His hands instantly found their way to her hips. She raised herself on the tips of her toes, meeting his lips slowly and softly; so much different than the kisses they had shared earlier that day, and yet, just as intense.

As she pulled away, she pressed her cheek against his chest and felt his arms encircle her, holding her close to his heat, close to his heart. She could hear the smirk in his voice as he spoke, "I could get used to greetings like this."

She laughed against his chest, "You better," she mumbled as his arms squeezed her gently before releasing their hold on her body. She took two small steps away from his frame; close enough to grasp his hand lightly, but not too close as to cause awkwardness if others were to enter the elevator.

"So what are your plans for the evening, Dr. Grey?" Mark asked, keeping his eyes forward, towards the elevator doors, as he mindlessly brushed his thumb back and forth, across the back of her hand.

Lexie shivered as the movement shot sparks up her hand and through her entire body, she managed to find her voice to respond, "I was hoping to do something with my boyfriend—" her voice carried off as the reality of what she just said throbbed in her head and reverberated off the elevator walls.

Sure, she had mentally accepted that he was her boyfriend, as fantastical and improbable as that seemed, but she had never voiced it outwardly. Now, the first time that she had actually admitted it out loud, that she considered Mark Sloan her boyfriend, had been in front of the plastics attending himself. They hadn't worked out the specifics, per say. Maybe he didn't consider her his girlfriend yet. Maybe she had to pass a variety of tests to prove she wasn't completely crazy, to prove she was in it for the long haul this time. She couldn't blame him for that. She couldn't blame him for needing time.

She could have tried to explain herself, sure; she could have tried to talk her way out the hole she had just dug, but she was exhausted from this day, she was exhausted from this week and month and year. She was tired, and if she was going to get this out in the open, it was best to do it as soon as possible.

So, instead of opening her mouth, instead of lying, instead of playing games, she let the words sink into the silence of the elevator, stared into the eyes of her possibly-boyfriend, and waited for his reply.

"I think," the attending stated, pulling her hand so she had to take another two steps closer to him. "I think," he repeated, "that you should ditch your boyfriend, he sounds like a square."

"A square?" Lexie asked, not sure where Mark was going with his banter.

"A square," he clarified. "See the term _boy_friend is just so, so immature."

Lexie nodded slowly, putting the pieces together in her head. He didn't want to label whatever they had between them, he needed time to watch her, to judge her, to see if she was in this for the long haul, "Immature," Lexie choked out, "right."

"What you need," Mark continued, either unaware or choosing to ignore her inability to speak without teetering on the verge of tears. She shouldn't be crying, she couldn't cry right now, at this moment in front of Mark Sloan. She didn't have the right to cry, he had every right to deny her existence, and at this point she was lucky he was even speaking to her after what she put him through. "What you need," he repeated himself again, whether he kept up his repetition for intensity's purpose or because he didn't know how to let her down gently, she didn't know. "Is a _man_friend."

Lexie blinked back the tears in her eyes, before laughing, "Manfriend?"

"Manfriend," Mark repeated, pulling her firm against his side, "it's so much more mature, more definite, more long term. Plus, it paints me in a better light, don't you think? I'm a _man_, Little Grey. Let me feel like a man."

Lexie let her tears run down her face, her laughter radiating through the elevator. He lifted her chin with his index finger and pressed his lips briefly against hers. She was almost completely positive that he had no idea why she was crying, but she adored the way he understood her, the way he took care of her; in the midst of her insanity, he was her rock, through good times and bad. _This time was different_.

"That's presumptive," Lexie finally managed to state, as the doors opened, she wiped the undersides of her eyes with her free hand and they began to walk out of the elevator.

"What is?" Mark asked, still holding his girlfriend against his side as they walked.

"That I was talking about you when I mentioned my boyfriend," at Lexie's comment, Mark stopped walking in the middle of the hospital's entryway, halting Lexie as well.

"Manfriend," he clarified as he leaned in close. She felt his breath on her cheek and her eyes fluttered to a close. Before she knew it, she was kissing Mark Sloan in the middle of the hospital, in front of an empty lobby with very few onlookers. But as her hands made her way to his scruffy cheeks, Lexie Grey felt as though she could be kissing him anywhere in the entire world, in front of anybody at all, and not give a damn.


	11. Chapter 11

Shonda teased us last week with all that Slexie interaction only to give us nothing this episode (insert tears here) but I enjoyed Lexie and Amelia's friendship, and, despite what I know to be true, I have hopes for the remainder of the season.  
>JUST ONE ACCIDENTAL 'OOPS I SLEPT WITH LEXIE GUESS I HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH WHATS-HER-FACE', SHONDA! Is that really so much to ask for?<br>P.S.- I have the best readers, prove me right and review? LOVE YOU GUYS!

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><p><em>Little<em> Grey's Anatomy

Though she liked to think she was a particularly logical person, Lexie Grey couldn't deny that she had a multitude of irrational moments. At the present moment, curled up and bawling in the corner of a supply closet in the hospital, Lexie would say that this was one of those moments.

The day started off as normal as usual, well, as normal as breakfast and sharing a bathroom with you ex-boyfriend could be. Which, these days was Lexie's new normal.

She had brushed her teeth, shaved her legs, and got dressed in her typical jeans and a red sweater—normal. She poured herself a cup of coffee, made herself a bowl of cereal, and then realized, after filling a bowl with dry corn flakes, that they were out of milk—normal. She rode in the passenger's seat of Meredith's car while Alex bickered with April in the back seat and Jackson stayed quiet—normal. She walked into the hospital, talking about Zola with her sister, and got a large coffee from the coffee cart by the elevator—normal.

So much normality, so much routine, how was Lexie supposed to know she would soon be hyperventilating because of something so small, something so uncontrollable, and something so _seemingly_ ordinary.

As she brought the large cup of coffee to her lips, whilst about to take a small sip of the hot liquid, Lexie saw the outline of the plastics attending, _her _plastics attending, by the elevator. And for that brief second she let her thoughts swarm around him. She let her mind, her memory, and her emotions feel the intensity that was Mark Sloan. And in that second, in that briefest of seconds, she forgot about her coffee.

The rest of the events that took place in that moment, now just seemed like burning haze.

She took a gulp out of her new cup, a gulp that was too large, too hot, and way too much. She choked. She tried to breathe without spitting the coffee out of her mouth. She forced the liquid down as her eyes watered. She felt her next movement simultaneously with her first breath.

Lexie Grey hiccupped.

Lexie's hands immediately shot to her mouth as her coffee fell to the floor. The cup hit the tile; the lid popped off and rolled across the linoleum, falling to a halt at Mark's feet. The brown liquid splashed onto the ground, onto surrounding walls, and onto the two Grey sisters' clothes. But Lexie didn't notice, nor did she notice, much less care about, the entirety of the now silent, but still decently populated hospital lobby, staring at the young surgeon and the scene she was causing. Lexie was simply waiting, standing stock-still, anticipating the next dreaded convulsion of her body, the desperate gasp for air.

It happened again. And again. And then once more.

It seemed that the more panicked she made herself, the faster she breathed, and the more abundant the hiccups became.

Without thinking or acknowledging any of the onlookers, including her sister and her boyfriend, she ran.

Before she could even comprehend the movement of her legs and the direction her feet were taking her, she had already sprinted up the stairs to the third floor and had found the nearest supply closet. She opened the door and shut it forcibly behind her, before pressing her back against the opposite wall and sinking to the floor.

She was sure it had been only a few minutes since the incident, but Lexie had felt like she'd been trapped in her own mind for hours, days even, before she heard a faint knock at the door.

"Can I come in?" She heard a deep, husky voice ask.

Lexie chuckled in spite of herself, "It's a closet, Mark." She stated, slightly amused.

As the door opened slowly, the brief moment of humor and comfort was gone. She let out another hiccup and the tears welled up in her eyes once more.

She curled back into a ball and again began the onslaught of rapid breathing as a cascade of tears rolled down her face, "God, why am I such a freak?" Lexie asked shakily, punctuating the end of her sentence with another horrid hiccup.

Mark gave her a small, sympathetic smile, though he knew Lexie's eyes couldn't see it under the cover of her hands, and sat down beside her. The second he placed his arms around her, she turned immediately into his embrace. He kissed the top of her head softly and sighed into her brown hair.

Rubbing her arms gently, Mark whispered softly, "You're not a freak, Lex."

His words and another hiccup brought on a new wave of tears, "Then—_hiccup_—then why am I crying because of—_hiccup_—a stupid case of the hiccups?" She asked desperately, clutching his hand in her own, moving her body as close to his as possible, dying to feel his warmth and his comfort, instead of these horrific emotions that were tearing at her insides.

"Because," Mark began, pulling Lexie completely into his lap, letting her rest her head against his chest, and allowing his entire body to enclose her own. "Because you're human and you feel things like empathy and sadness and longing. It's okay to be scared, Lex. It's okay to miss your mom. And it's okay for you to cry because of a stupid case of the hiccups."

She shivered at the intensity of his words, he held her tighter. She would've made a comment about the maturity and wisdom of his explanation, but she was too wrapped up in her own current dilemma. She took a few deep breaths, calming herself in his arms. She hiccupped again, but this time she held back the tears and found her voice. "But it makes me insane, because it's insane and irrational to be afraid of hiccups. I have hiccup phobia." She shook her head animatedly and small wisps of her hair brushed his cheeks, "I find myself grieving my mother's death, after all this time, and I'm scared of the normal bodily function that was associated with her final days. What is that?" Lexie asked exasperatedly.

Mark didn't answer right away, he knew her question was asked rhetorically, but he couldn't help but immediately think of the reasoning.

_What is that?_

He knew what it was. It was the same thing that drew him back to the woman in his arms time and time again. It was the thing that made everything seem so complicated yet so sensible. It was what made his mind race at the very mention of her name, and his heart pound at the very thought of her. It was the meaning in the madness. It was what made them work, as human being, as doctors, and as a couple.

"Love." He stated simply. She pulled her head away from his now damp shirt, the redness in her eyes seemed to make her irises burn a little brighter than usual, turning them into a hazel color that he only saw on rare occasions. "It's love, Lex. Just because she's gone, doesn't mean you've forgotten about her. You don't forget the ones you love, and no matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to fully move on." Her bright, burning, hazel eyes softened and she brought her free hand, as the other was still tightly enclosed in his, to rest against his cheek gently, appreciatively; lovingly. "It doesn't mean you can't be happy," he whispered.

Lexie bit her lip as Mark brushed the remaining water streaks from her cheeks, "You make me happy." She stated softly, finally allowing herself a smile.

His mind was spinning with words he should say, words he should scream. Words that conveyed how he truly felt, words that asked her to never leave him again, words that expressed what she meant to him, what they, together, as a couple, meant to him. But at the look in her eyes and the healing of her smile, the words died in his mouth. It was too soon, and the last thing he wanted to do, the last thing he could handle was pushing her away again.

Instead, he pressed his lips softly against hers and silently prayed that, one day, he would be able to say all the things he had always wanted to.

They lost themselves and found each other in that one small, simple kiss. The compassion and the content and the comfort that came when they were together; it blanketed them in their embrace. It was the most fleeting of touches, the briefest of kisses, but the power it held was inexplicable.

She was the first to pull away, with the smile on her face growing considerably larger, and her features mirroring joy as well as surprise, "Oh my God," she whispered with a hint of excitement.

Mark smirked, though he knew her words were probably not meant to describe their kiss, he couldn't help but make a comedic jab at her timing, "You know, I get that a lot."

Lexie raised an eyebrow at his joking and cocky words, "A lot?"

Mark shrugged, "Just from my pure appearance. I walk into a room, it lights up. You know how it goes."

She rolled her eyes, the smile still playing on her lips, "Wow," she stated as she made a move to get up, out of his lap. Her hand finally freeing itself from his.

He only held her tighter, refusing to let her leave his arms, "You know—"

"Don't even say it!" Lexie laughed, settling once again in his arms. Though she knew they should leave the supply closet at least some time today, if he wasn't ready to let her go, she wasn't ready to let him go either. "I was talking about my hiccups, jackass." She clarified, "They're all gone."

"I must work magic," Mark said jokingly.

"How did you even ever become so egotistical?" Lexie asked in with a small chuckle, her face conveying mock awe. "You 'work magic'? Really?"

Mark kissed her forehead and placed one of his cool hands on each of her warm cheeks. He spoke with no superiority, no sarcasm, and absolutely no humor in his tone; his next words were full of seriousness and sentiment, "How else do you explain how I got you?"


End file.
